The Guilt We Carry After Growth
Growth is often romanticized as transformation — a clean break from the past, like shedding an old skin and stepping into a new identity. Every few years, life offers us perspective. We look back at certain decisions/actions and think, “If I were in that situation today, I would never have done that.” That realization is not regret alone — it is evidence of evolution. Awareness expands. Emotional responses refine. Patterns that once felt justified, now feel immature. In many ways, you’ve crossed the elephant. Yet sometimes, the tail remains. That remaining piece is not always shame. It is not always self-rejection. Often, it is something more subtle — the quiet desire to be seen correctly by others (to whom that decisions or actions are associated to) There is healthy guilt. It says, “I made a mistake.” It is specific, grounded, and temporary. It invites reflection. It humbles without humiliating. Once the lesson is integrated, it dissolves. Its role is complete. There is also i...